Speaker of Mind心の声を伝える人

It is common in Japan for a master of ceremonies to emulate the role of a moderator and conduct events and functions like wedding receptions from beginning to end in a scripted approach. Emcees have a reputation for being similar to one another; in basic fashion, they hold the mic, speak with an easy fluency and flexibly move the proceedings along. However, those who know Rimi Ogihara, the master of ceremonies for weddings at the hotel, will know that she is no ordinary emcee. Here is one of the many heartfelt stories Ogihara has created.

Ogihara worked as a wedding planner 17 years ago. She would carefully plan a customized reception and then watch it unfold from the sidelines. She would get frustrated at times, however, when things did not go to plan. What the master of ceremonies says, their choice of words, their expressions, and their general deportment—all can ‘color’ a reception. It is only the emcee who can speak on behalf of the bride and groom and create uniqueness to the event; the wedding planner cannot get involved. So, Ogihara decided to become a wedding emcee to create receptions that truly reflected the personalities of the bride and groom.

Ogihara meets with the couple around a month in advance to the wedding. She always schedules the meeting for two hours, but just drawing up a plan does not take that long; Ogihara wants to learn about their lives. “A wedding ceremony is an important day that ties the past to the future. So I ask the bride and groom about their lives, and about their families and other people who have been important to them. I also studied psychological counseling to be a better listener. We talk about the reception they want and refine our ideas only after I have understood what they have cherished throughout their lives.”

Most emcees have a script they rely on, but Ogihara does not. What is important is not precise wordings. A wedding ceremony is a rite of passage that links to the future the thoughts and feelings of the couple and their family and friends. Mediating this passage is the job of the emcee. The following story illustrates this well.

For their reception, one couple decided not to conclude in the typical manner, with the reading of letters to the parents. This was decided at the meeting, but Ogihara continued to have misgivings. The bride had lost her mother to an illness when she was young. Her father had given his all to raising her and her little brother. Being a single father is a tough job, and the relationship grew complicated when the bride entered adolescence; she was still upset about it. “I was horrible,” she told Ogihara. “When I was in middle school, my dad made me a bento lunch for school. But my bento was all brown. Everyone else’s was so colorful; only mine was different. I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t even open the lid. I brought it home without eating anything.” She did not realize how rude she had been, she says, until she got out on her own and began working. “He woke up early, made a bento, sent me off to school, and then after work when he got home, he had to make dinner and do housework. I believe he had no time to relax. I sometimes wonder how it must have felt if there was an untouched bento in front of him. I’d feel nothing but remorse and gratitude.”

“Did you ever tell your father how you felt?” Ogihara asked. “No,” she said, “so much time has passed, it’d be awkward. And I don’t feel like saying it in front of everyone, and my dad wouldn’t want me to either … but if I don’t say anything now, I probably won’t ever be able to, so maybe I should.” The bride could not decide what to do. “Well, why don’t you just write the letter and present it to him; you don’t have to read it out loud,” Ogihara suggested. “That might be a good idea,” she said, “I’ll write one.” Her face brightened a bit.

On the day of the wedding, Ogihara went up to the nervous couple to greet them again. The bride had the letter with her.

The wedding concluded and the reception began. The bride and groom entered, the guest of honor gave a speech, and the cake was cut. Ogihara eloquently conveyed the thoughts and feelings of the bride and groom that she had learned about in the meeting and expressed the good wishes of the many guests and family members in attendance.

The meal began and when everyone was settled in, Ogihara went to the table with the bride’s father. “How was it walking down the aisle with your daughter?” “I never thought this day would come,” he said. “You may have heard, but there was a time when my daughter was really rebellious; she hated me. So today was extra special for me. I feel like I can report to my wife, she’s left the nest happy.” “You did a wonderful job.” “I maybe could have tried to understand her a little better. I’m so grateful for her though.”

Ogihara heard this and asked, “As the father, would you like to have the bride read the letter she’s written to you?” “Of course. Any father with a daughter looks forward to the day she walks down the aisle and reads her letter at the end.”

As soon as Ogihara realized the father wanted the letter read, she moved fast. She told the wedding planner and site manager the story and asked whether a private room could be arranged. She asked the photographer for a little more time. After quickly getting everything ready, she conveyed the father’s feelings to the bride and groom. “If it’s all right with you, we can call your father to a private room, and then with your little brother, the three of you can hold a ‘child-raising graduation ceremony’ with just family. How does that sound?” They immediately agreed to the idea.

The reception concluded, the guests were seen off, and in the short time before the group photos, the three family members, the photographer and the wedding planner gathered in the room along with Ogihara, who spoke first: “We will now hold a child-raising graduation ceremony for the father of the bride.” The bride then read her letter. “Dad, thank you so much for everything you’ve done …” she said through tears, as the father began crying openly, and the brother, and the photographer, and the planner—everyone in tears.

Ogihara, wiping away tears, was glad of their decision. The father and his now married daughter, with spirits bright, would move forward into their respective lives. Standing in front of everyone with a mic in hand is not the only job of a master of ceremonies for weddings. It involves meetings with the bride and groom, hidden sentiments discovered through conversations with loved ones, and creating a day that will become an important part of a family’s history. Ogihara is grateful for her role, and savors it.